Afterall, it’s been an unreal world i’ve been living on for all this time. I was very happy, very life, very comfort, knowing that everything is gonna be alright. World is nice to me, no competition cause i always be the winner. No bad person cause everyone seems supporting me. I always laugh..laugh.. all the time, well i don’t need to raise my voice when i spoke to anybody, i just living on and everything goods come to me. It’s a dream world, it was terrific. i was closing my eyes and those dreamy things happen to me, no pain, no sorrow just a joyfull. i feel like i own everything. i was proud of myself, nothing compared to me.
And now, to me as some kind of people who likes crowd, laughing, my feeling for myself right now as you might call it a sorrowness. A very deep deep sorrowness. I was abandoned, i began to lose things i proud of, i feel like useless. And above all i feel sooo lonely. What a boring life i have. My brain gradually becomes weaker and weaker, i forgot things, my analytics were worse. Someone will see me as a stressful person, hightemp, sad, people that you want to be 100 m far from you (the last one was very hyperbolic haha).
I lost my motivation, i fail to identify what’s my purpose. Something small might interrupt me badly. I’m soo sensitive, i began to lose my ability to make a nice conversation with friends, my mind was full of nothing. My work was just so-so and my social life was even worse.
Damn i desperately need to find someone, someone who will complete me and regain my loses. I need to find her and move on. I’ m so ready, but i just got a little chance. I hope someone would really appear and i will this time i will reach out for her.
I think the title wasn’t appropriate, afterall i’m glad to have written this.
